Buy Difficult Mothers Reprint by Terri Apter (ISBN: ) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. Difficult Mothers has ratings and 42 reviews. Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated. 7 quotes from Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power: ‘ Trying to make sense of other people’s responses to us is a basic human activ.
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Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power by Terri Apter
Return to Book Page. Preview — Difficult Mothers by Terri Apter. Difficult Mothers Quotes Showing of 7.
Accepting a mother’s [or anyone’s] anger by concluding that i is justified is a way of making sense of a difficult relationship. But this acceptance comes at a great cost, for it means that we see their cruelty as our shame.
Understanding and Overcoming Their Power. Perhaps your partner’s short fuse does not prevent them from being loving and supportive.
Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power
In that case, you may have found a gem yerri others have avoided because they cannot get past the bursts of temper. But if you find that time after time, a partner or close friend disappoints you by being just like a difficult parent, then you would do well to consider whether you are selecting someone who helps you reproduce that difficult relationship.
Perhapse you chose to be close to someone who turns out to be as volatile as your mother and who inflicts discomfort all too familiar gerri you. Or perhaps gradually, over time, your partner or close friend becomes like difflcult mother; that may be because you unconsciously behave in ways that encourage others to treat you as your mother did. In self-defense, a son or daughter may insist that any achievement is a fluke, and any award is undeserved or is really a tribute to their mother.
They dufficult their own healthy narcissism to please a mother. The mind-set is, “I am succeeding because I can fake excellence, but inside I am not really worthy or not really able. Faced with this unpredictable inconsistency, a child tries to appease motbers mother, anxious to control and monitor her shifting moods. It is only when a parent [or anyone] repeatedly and regularly uses anger to close conversations, in the broadest sense of ‘conversation,’ that a dilemma is framed.
When a parent [or partner] uses anger or the threat of anger to dominate the emotional diffkcult, then even potentially good conversations with them lose spontaneity, openness and honesty. I go weak at the knees when she turns against me. I forget what it’s like to feel courage. I try to remind myself that the worst of it will pass, that she won’t be like that forever.
She’s mad now, dkfficult there will come a time when she’s not mad. When I was growing up, I tried all sorts of things to get me through these times.
I used to think “It won’t be so bad if she doesn’t hit me. What I was afraid of was that she was going to explode and disappear. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account.